What’s a sci-fi gal to do awaiting the advent of all the new fall television
shows? While my friends are out raiding the malls, drinking tons of coffee
at Starbucks or taking a fun day trip, I’m grabbing my magic marker and color
coding my TV Guide, so I don’t miss my favorite shows. My friends laugh at
my obsession and can think of a thousand more productive things to do with my
time. But noooo, I sit perched with my trusty remote waiting to be beamed
onto Voyager, shot through the Stargate or catapulted into a battle on
Xena.
Sci-fi/fantasy t.v. is a charmingly geeky passion my friends tell me. And
some of them think its quite subversive ‘cuz gals are not supposed to be
into this stuff. Today, I sat my "rebel with a geeky cause" behind onto my
couch and contemplated why it’s cool to be someone of the human female gender
who’s into these wacky t.v. shows. It’s because us sci-fi geeks will always
end up ruling the world.
So here’s my top four reasons why Sci-Fi Geeks will always rule the world:
1. Captain Picard’s Management Style: If you can catch reruns of Star
Trek: The Next Generation, by all means, make it so. Learn from the best
on how to handle all types of management crises from employees who have
trouble with their emotions (Data) to ambitious young ensigns who think
they’ve saved your ship each week (Wesley Crusher) to employees who can
partially read your mind (Troi). Forget all the money you plan to spend on
that MBA. Save yourself the $70,000 dollars. Just watch smoothie
Picard, and
you’ll learn everything you need to know about taking over the galaxy or
Federation starships. He never loses his cool and always knows when to pause
for effect and get his way. He shows us how to look dapper in a dress
uniform which he wears so well at all those diplomatic parties on the
Enterprise. Only drawback? His catering budget.
2. Xena’s Management Style: If you always wanted to be a Type A, decisive
kind of leader, Xena’s your gal. She never doubts herself and asks, "Gee,
should I have killed that blood thirsty, village burning war lord?" Xena
knows if you hesitate for a minute in her scummy, villainous world, you are
dead, dead, dead. Xena will show you how to get the drop on people before
they know what hit them. Her latest management strategy session ended
abruptly when Pompey convinced her to let him live. He argued that he
could provide a balance against her arch enemy Julius Ceasar. Pompey then
attempted to knife her in the back as she walked away in agreement. But Xena
drew her sword and decapitated this two-faced middle manager before he got
within a yard of her. Only drawback? Finding enough burlap sacks to deposit, in the nearest village dumpster, your "winnings" from these
management "caucuses."
3. Captain Sisko’s Management Style: It doesn’t matter whether the Dominion
is about to drive every race of carbon breathing life forms to extinction,
whether Quark brings in a cargo bay full of contraband onto DS9 or whether
your best male friend keeps being implanted into younger and younger female
hosts, Sisko knows that everything comes down to one great universal truth:
baseball. He always has an autographed baseball he can throw at hostile
alien species who invade his office. He also has baseballs available for
spoils of war or to torment his disinterested staff who want a raise or some
well deserved time off. Sisko is also a manager that can show you how to
have fun. He always knows the proper time to inflict a baseball inspired
management retreat on his demoralized staff. Only drawback? Ferengi short
stops.
4. Captain Janeway’s Management Style: Voyager’s Captain Janeway will
teach you how to exude confidence while allowing your staff to offer their
endless, frequently ineffectual opinions on how you should do your job or
get back to the Alpha Quadrant. Say what you want to Janeway and rarely
will her feathers get ruffled. But when she’s made up her mind, you know to
get with the program or find a nice planet in the Delta Quadrant where you
can quietly live the rest of your life. The one major challenge to Janeway’s command is Seven of Nine, part woman/part Borg drone. Seven has a
great time playing "everything you can do, my computer brain can do better."
Janeway will show you how to prepare for the inevitable moment that scientists are predicting: the year 2019, when a $1,000 computer will have
the processing power of the human brain. By 2055, scientists are predicting
that a $1,000 computer will have the processing power of all human brains on
earth. And our beloved Captain Janeway is already showing us how to deal.
Only drawback? Finding a shuttle home when Hal is resurrected, decides to
take over your ship and leave your sorry butt stranded in the Delta Quadrant.
I hope I’m retired by then and watching a t.v. program on how to take the
world back from the computers. Hey wait a minute, that’s Cleopatra 2525, a
mid-season replacement series coming January, 2000. Humans unite! There is
hope!
|
"Top
4 Reasons Sci-Fi Geeks Will Always Rule the Universe"
