Summer blockbuster season is upon us, and it’s going to be a hotter summer than normal. I can feel it. Spiderman has roped in the biggest box office take ever topping at $200 million domestic and all in 10 days. Star Wars: Attack of the Clones will be close on its heels when it opens this weekend. But I’m sure you could care less about box office takes, but only great entertainment. As George Lucas said this week, he’s not in some kind of money race with Spiderman.
Some fans found that concept intriguing. Spiderman vs. a Jedi Knight: Who Would Win? At rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc, some hilarity ensued when news junkies debated this very topic.
JPM writes, “Yoda is tougher than he looks. He is skilled enough to be on the Jedi council and apparently be its leader. Don't forget the tricks that the Emperor used on Vader and Luke in ROTJ (Return of the Jedi). The force lightening would be dangerous. The only way Spidey would have a chance is thousands of Spider clones in funky white armor." Spiders in white armor… the gods do tremble.
Anthony Gaza Man refused to play along with the fun and got literal on us. “There's no reason in the world why any Jedi would start a fight without a really good reason, and Spider-Man isn't the type to start one, either. So even if they both existed in the same place at the same time, no such fight would ever occur." In other words, Anthony believes in a great jedi/spidey battle as told by Samuel Beckett.
Brian Doyle envisioned a one-sided battle, “Spider-Man punches the Jedi's lights out before he can draw the sabre. Jedi's don't have Spider-Sense, Class 85-100 level strength and seem loathe to make the first move in combat." What’s 85-100 level strength? Geek talk or something grounded in a reality familiar to carbon-based life forms? Just kiddin’, Brian. Totally undeserved, especially when considering my English major geek reference to Beckett.
Lulu the Cow writes, “This may well be the dumbest thread in months, but I'll lower myself into it."
Lead the way, Lulu. We’re with you, girl. Has a newsgroup reached an all time low, when someone named Lulu the Cow is worried about looking stupid?
Lulu continues, “Obi-Wan notes in the first (that later accidentally became the fourth) movie that many of the ways a Jedi can use the Force only works on the weak-minded. This is reinforced when Luke fails to manipulate Jabba in the Return of the Muppets (I mean... Jedi). Further, we know that Jedis have been killed many times, and we've seen both Luke and Darth be undone by broken concentration. Spider-sense is Spider-man's version of the Force. Given all we've seen, a Spider-man/Jedi match up would be pretty evenly matched. It would also be pretty stupid, but that's another matter." The cow calls a draw.
Icure takes a pragmatic approach and analyzes the fashion choices of Spiderman and the Jedi Knights. It turns out fashion could be the key to winning the contest. “He (Spiderman) is just too strong and agile to be taken by Jedi. And those Jedi robes would slow them down, compared to the free flowing form of spandex." If Spiderman slams a Jedi into a web covered in peanut butter, I imagine those robes could feel quite heavy.
So who wins? Based on the newsgroup poll, I would estimate that 70% are cheering Spidey over the Jedis. But time will tell when the Clones swarm the theaters in force this weekend.
"Spiderman vs. the Jedi Knights: Who Would Win?"
